Episode 11: Ann Hince

Does the Law of Attraction work?

When Ann Hince’s world seemed out of control, she found solace in a unique yet scientifically proven technique known as the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Facing a harsh upbringing as an adopted child in an alcoholic family, and later, the tragic loss of her mother at 19, Ann found herself dealing with profound trauma and this is her story of overcoming it. Join us for a riveting conversation as we journey alongside Anne, learning about her discovery of EFT and how it transformed her life.

Ann story paints a vivid picture of resilience and the power of the mind. As she battled with the aftermath of her traumatic experiences, she found herself turning to EFT and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Together, these therapeutic techniques unlocked the door to her healing journey. Listen as Ann shares how untangling her past and releasing negative emotions led to remarkable personal growth and a peaceful environment for her loved ones.

We also venture into deeper conversations about our emotions’ influence on our life through the Law of Attraction. Ann’s journey to emotional freedom not only improved her mental health but also positively impacted her relationships. Our conversation underscores the importance of mental health awareness, the benefits of recognizing and managing emotions, and the transformative power of tapping. You don’t want to miss this inspiring story of trauma, healing, and personal growth with Ann Hince.

https://annhince.com/

https://www.facebook.com/AnnHinceWisdom

https://www.linkedin.com/in/annhince/

https://www.youtube.com/@annhince

Book: A Pathway to Insight https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08N9P9LP6/

Book: A Pathway to Insight Workbook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C6W5LZKX/

TRANSCRIPT

Caroline Balinska: 0:00
Thank you, you’re fantastic.

Ann Hince: 0:03
We can work with ourselves. That’s all we can do is work on ourselves. So we’re feeling frustrated with them or angry at them. Let’s work with that frustration or that anger, because that in itself changes everything around us Positive in. All we need to do is find the negative and release that. That’s something. So if I’m at peace with my husband doing this or not doing it, it doesn’t. It’s that’s where I want to be. I want to be at peace regardless, and over the days and the weeks, I noticed that I was becoming calmer, and that’s my goal.

Caroline Balinska: 0:35
Fantastic, so it’s actually been proven scientifically.

Ann Hince: 0:38
now then, I mean I guess people could call it the dark night of the soul type thing hitting rock bottom. Whatever it is, it was just so intense that that, that realization, oh, this is how I felt before, that’s what I needed, and you know, I think a lot of us do go through something like that. And then that’s when I started looking inside rather than looking outside.

Caroline Balinska: 0:59
Welcome to the Life On Purpose Over 40 podcast, where empowerment, elegance and health take center stage. I’ll be your guide on this thrilling journey to outshine your past self. This is a podcast all about transformation. We’re plunging head first into exactly what health, wellness, style, relationships and career look like as a woman over 40. You’ll be hearing from all the most sought after global trailblazers and experts. This isn’t just about learning. It’s about embracing your inner, fierce, fabulous self. Let’s get started. Welcome back to the podcast. Today, I have Anne Hintz with us and I’m very excited to have this conversation. It’s going to be. I think there is some trauma involved in this conversation, so be aware of that. It’s probably not a lot of great stuff to be talking about with kids in the room as well, but I think everyone needs to hear this. I think it’s a very interesting story and I think Anne has learned a lot and has a lot to share with us about her path in life. I’d love to get into it and welcome Anne to the show. How are you, anne? Oh, wonderful, I’m so glad that you could join us today. When I came across your story, I was really intrigued by it, and I think it’s something that, while not many people have been through what you’ve been through. I think that there’s a lot of people who have had some sort of trauma in their life where they’re not knowing how to deal with it properly, and I think that you have proven that you can overcome trauma and move on and learn from it and grow from it. I think that there’s people out there that have not experienced real trauma and I think that’s I don’t want to. I don’t want to put people down from their situation, but I think some people are in situations and I thought myself.

Ann Hince: 2:46
Sometimes I think to myself oh, things are so bad.

Caroline Balinska: 2:49
and then I remind myself of situations and go of people’s situations. I think, okay, this situation is not that bad. This situation is actually much, much better than some people experience. So I think that what you’re going to share with us are ways that we can learn how to deal with anything we’re going through, which is depressing, traumatic, annoying, difficult. I think that you’ve got some really great advice, so I’m really glad to have you here today. Yeah, I’m like you. I do the same thing where I think of my childhood and I think, yeah, people have been through worse. So some people tell me not to downplay my childhood, but then I also think that that’s what helps me power through and be positive and think of the good side of life.

Ann Hince: 3:45
Kind of gets into the question. So my whole story is about being not powering through, actually standing back and realizing how I’m actually feeling and I agree that myself. I mean sometimes we think that we need to power through, but there are people who’ve had much past inside of us. It doesn’t release the past, which is what we really need to do to grow beyond it. So, yeah, we’ll talk about that.

Caroline Balinska: 4:14
I have experience that. I do understand that. But I’m sure I’m going to learn a lot today. I’m sure everyone will learn a lot. I’m sure I’m going to learn a lot from this experience of talking to you. So, and tell us a little bit about your past and where you got to and why I keep on talking about your trauma of what you’ve been through. Let’s hear your story and why you got to where you are today.

Ann Hince: 4:33
Okay, so I will share some of the trauma, just so you know that we can reverse it. So I was born with my right foot up against my right shin, so the first few weeks of my life was spent in kind of physical therapy releasing that foot. And at six weeks old I was adopted, handed over for adoption into a family that had just suffered a trauma because they had a two-year-old boy who had been adopted. Then they adopted another little girl and had her from not sure how long, but it was months, and then the birth mother changed her mind and they had to hand that baby back to the birth mother and I was the replacement in the family for that. So obviously it’s going to be hard for a mother to maybe not feel like that might happen again. Right, so the connection I don’t think they connected to me as much as they would have done for maybe that first girl that they’d adopted. So that was the beginning. And then we my dad worked around the world, so we moved around to move to our bed First. Then we moved to Sierra Leone in West Africa, and when we were there we had a house fire and I was the one who woke up and saw the flames coming through my bedroom bedroom wall and I alerted everyone to that. So that was a pretty good sized trauma. And then time went on. We moved to Hong Kong and when we were in Hong Kong I was sent to a boarding school in England and I was sent to a boys’ boarding school, which is where my brother was, and there were some day girls, but I was the only girl boarder for the first year and I was teased mercilessly by those boys, so that was not a good thing. And then I went to a girls boarding school. After that and during my teenage years both my parents became alcoholics and life at home was hell. And at the age of 19 I woke up one morning and found my mother dead on the bathroom floor. So that was kind of the big trauma that stayed with me. But I didn’t really realise how much it was affecting me and so after that I graduated when I was 21, moved out to California, I was a software engineer and I got married and I had kids and life carried on. I had a lot of digestive issues, I was very reactionary, very afraid on the inside and I just didn’t realise. I didn’t know what to do about it. I tried all sorts of different diets and I was looking outside of myself, I was trying to learn from other people, and it really wasn’t until I was in my late 30s that I actually had something happen and what I call it is a business altercation with a couple of other mothers at my boys’ school and they just told me I’d done something wrong. And these women were very self-confident, self-assured, authority-type women in my mind and I was the scared mother on the inside. And they told me I’d done something wrong and I hated it and my mind just spun out of control over and over. It replayed everything that happened, everything I’ve said, that said what I did, what I could have done differently, just could not stop it spinning for three days I’m nice and it was. At the end of that I realised okay, this is not normal, and it felt a little bit like how I would react when my dad would tell me I’d done something wrong. And that was the first opening the first little inkling that maybe my childhood was still affecting me to this day, and that’s where the whole journey started.

Caroline Balinska: 8:04
Okay, it’s. Yeah, I think it’s interesting. I think that the thing that I take away from that the most is that you actually use that as a learning experience, because I think that even that, a lot of people still wouldn’t have learnt from that. That would have just been like those women are the problem. Those women are the ones doing something wrong. Those are the women, other ones that caused this feeling, and it’s not me, it’s them, and that’s what.

Ann Hince: 8:30
I felt for the first probably two and a half days, until it was just so intense I mean, I guess people could call it the dark night of the soul type thing hitting rock bottom, whatever it is it was just so intense that that, that realisation oh, this is how I felt before, that’s what I needed, and you know, I think a lot of us do go through something like that. And then that that’s when I started looking inside rather than looking outside.

Caroline Balinska: 9:01
And as this, you talk about being wanting to be a calm mother. Is that the the point of that, or were you already feeling like that beforehand, that you wanted to be a more calm mother?

Ann Hince: 9:11
I knew I needed to be part of that. As goes back to the boys boarding school I had. I have two boys and they were getting towards the age of those boys at that boarding school and I did not like boys at the age nine through 13, because I had so much trauma from them. So I knew I had to do something before my boys got to that age. So that’s kind of part of the equation. I knew I had to find something. I just didn’t know where to look. I didn’t know what I was looking for until that event happened and I realised, okay, it’s inside of me, it’s not outside of me.

Caroline Balinska: 9:46
So then, what did you do? Well, how did you take action on that and make those changes? Because I think that’s the. The first thing is acknowledging that there’s something there that’s inside of us, and then the next thing is is how to get help, because some people might turn to just getting, you know, trying to get therapists and we hear a lot about you know some bad therapists out there or just saying that they’re going to read something on the internet and it doesn’t make any real changes. So how did you go about that process of working out what to do?

Ann Hince: 10:15
Yeah, well, I didn’t really know what to do at the time, but it was in that time frame that I went to a doctor’s appointment, and this was a holistic doctor, I mean, it was an MD, but he had more tools in his toolbox than many doctors do and I can’t remember why I was going to him. But it was certainly nothing to do with my mental health. But he recognized I was more stressed than I should be and he happened to know this technique that is called EFT, which is short for emotional freedom technique. It’s also called tapping, because we tap on our body as we’re talking something through. And he asked me what my stress level was, on a scale of 0 to 310. And I said eight, which was a lot. Given that I was a stay at home mother at the time, with two healthy boys, it shouldn’t have been that stressful. I know being a mother is stressful, but he recognized it was more than normal. And then he asked me why. And that was when I realized, oh, it was finding my mother dead on the bathroom floor when I was 19. And at this point I was like 38 or so, so it was two decades before, but the tears from that event were still just under the surface, I had not dealt with it at all and it was affecting me in my day to day life. So he tapped with me using this technique, eft, and we tapped for about 15 minutes and I walked away being able to tell the story of her death in my mind for the first time ever without all those emotions there. So that was the beginning and I went home that day. I went online. I learned everything I could about EFT because it was given away by Gary Craig, who developed it for free, so anyone can go online and learn it. And I had an engineering mind, right, I was a software engineer and I didn’t like to waste my time on anything. But I didn’t necessarily believe that that one session with this doctor was really going to make a big difference. So I wanted to try it out. So at the time I had a 17 year old cat at home and his kidneys were starting to fail and we were told we had to give him a daily saline shot, like an injection of saline. The first time I gave him that shot my hand was shaking so badly. I was so afraid of giving him that shot. I knew I had to do something about it. I just wouldn’t be able to do that every day, it was just too stressful. So I tried out the technique I tapped, I tapped about every aspect of it, which is something you want to do with the EFT. So I tapped about my hand shaking, I tapped about my fear of hurting the cat when it gave him the injection. And I tapped about all my memories from all the injections I had had, from moving around the world. And the next day when I gave him that shot, the needle just slid right in. All that fear that had been living inside of me the day before had totally gone. And that’s when I realized well, both how powerful EFT is, but also that the memories, the emotions, the fear lives inside of us physically and we can let it go. And I had no idea to that point that that was possible. So that was the beginning. I started using it every day. I started noticing when I was emotional Like you said, that’s the first step and then when I noticed that I could tap. I could tap on how I was feeling, which accepts how I’m feeling. So I’m feeling afraid or frustrated, or sad. I would tap on that and it would release the energy that was stuck in the nervous system and it would bring myself back to peace. And then I could carry on with my day. Notice the next time, do the same thing, and over the days and the weeks I noticed that I was becoming calmer, and that’s my goal. I can carry on there. I love that. So I you know it’s fantastic.

Caroline Balinska: 13:50
So it’s actually been proven scientifically now that EMT is at the EFT. Emotional free typing. Eft is actually proven now scientifically to actually be. Yeah, scientifically proven to work, and I do a little bit of that with EMDR.

Ann Hince: 14:09
Is that the eye rapid?

Caroline Balinska: 14:10
eye movement? Yes, so it’s, and you can do both of them together at the same time, and so I have tried it a few times with that. But so, thank you, from now, from today, I’m going to actually start doing it seriously, because I haven’t. I’ve sort of done a little bit, here and there a bit, but I haven’t done it consistently. I’ve done it, you know, a week and then stopping for a little bit, but I have seen a huge difference. I think that it’s amazing the difference it does make. Can I put?

Ann Hince: 14:38
in this a part of yeah, so I’m going to start doing them together. Part of the thing, or the problem with a lot of the EFT scripts and things that are online is people tend to go to the positive too quickly and it’s really the negative that is stored in the body, so you keep tapping on the negative until it has gone. I don’t even go to the positive these days because I know and we haven’t got to this part of my story yet but I can sense inside my body now and I know the tension that’s stored inside is the darkness and once we release it, it’s already light underneath it. Light is there underneath, so we don’t need to put the positive in. All we need to do is find the negative and release that. So that’s something to keep in mind. If you’re working with an EFT practitioner online or watching the videos online, just see if you can stay with the negative over and over again until it’s gone.

Caroline Balinska: 15:35
That’s really interesting because I have seen some of the ones, the free videos that you can find on YouTube, and they actually go just for the positive and no negative at all, which I was like I think I’m meant to be concentrating on negative. So that’s a really good point that you make that, so tell me about that. So you talk about the law of attraction and that you think about it in a slightly different way. So can you give us some information about your viewpoint? Because I think, laura, attraction comes into this tapping for positive feelings, I think that’s sort of all in that same space. So can you give us a bit of an information on how you think?

Ann Hince: 16:09
Yeah, people are trying to work with law of attraction when they’re doing that. But what I’ve realized over the years, because I really wanted to understand it I mean, there has to be some part of what people talk about that that is true. So I really wanted to understand how it works. And so what I’ve realized over the years is that the whole of us is a signal. Everything about us is a signal right, it’s our size, it’s our shape, it’s our gender, it’s our hair. Right, if I shaved all my hair off and went out into society, people would respond to me differently than they do now. If I wore something very strange, right, people would respond to me differently because I’m emitting a different signal. So if I suddenly put on 50 pounds, right, people would respond to me differently because my signal has changed. So I’ve realized that the biggest part of our signal is the tension that we store inside from the past, from the trauma, from the emotions, from the programming. That is tension that is stored inside. It’s like a guitar string that is out of tune and then we’re therefore singing a different song. Right, our tune that we’re emitting is out of tune. So what we need to do is find that string that is out of tune and tune it. So that’s what this work is doing it’s releasing that tension that is stored inside and it’s in the connective tissue. The tension is held in the connective tissue, which may not be something that you hear about a lot out there, but I can sense inside, I can feel. At this point I can feel the tension in the connective tissue and I can release it with my focus retention. So I know it’s held in the connective tissue. So once we release that tension, we are then tuning in to different things. We’re attracting different things into our future. So that is to me the law of attraction we change our base signal, we attract different things into our lives. And if we’re trying to attract something in particular you know a lot of us want something more money or whatever if we don’t have it, we have resistance to it and that resistance is tension inside of us. So if we can find the resistance and release it, then we’re going to attract more of what we want.

Caroline Balinska: 18:30
Yeah, I find that really interesting because when the law of attraction first came out the secret book I just called BS on it. I was like what a load of BS. I just don’t believe it. And that was like I don’t know how many years ago that came out I don’t know 15 years or something like that. And over the years since then I’ve really started to understand that there is truth in it. But I think that, from what I have learned from my experiences, I think I stand where you are. So these people that are just like the secret is the truth, the book is the truth, and not understanding what you’re saying, I think is, yeah, I think that’s where the actual secret is. That’s where the truth is is the fact that it’s inside our bodies in a slightly different way and it’s not just about saying I want money, I want money. There’s something much deeper to it. But I think that book only touched the surface and didn’t go deep enough.

Ann Hince: 19:22
Right, it’s not just the thought. They’re just saying it’s the thought and some of them are saying it’s also the feeling. But if you’re saying I’m wealthy and you’re not wealthy, there is resistance inside of you, right? So just saying I’m wealthy doesn’t put off a good signal, because the signal is really the tension inside of you. So you’re not going to become wealthy unless you can release that tension. Right. Then you’re emitting a different signal when you’re saying I am wealthy. So it’s a lot more complex than people talk about in something like the secret.

Caroline Balinska: 20:00
Yeah, that’s definitely true. And tell me, you mentioned before that you had a lot of stomach issues before you did this and you had, you were not calm as a mother. Tell me a little bit more about that, because let’s start on your kids, for example, because I know from people around me that there are mothers out there that are either highly strong or have a lot of trauma from their own childhood and then they take that through to their children and I see it and I see how the children are, that they are not, the children are not well, that you can see it in their children that they have issues because of the way the mother is, and I think that and sometimes a father as well, but I think the mother has more of that core bond. I think it’s the person who stays home with the child the most has got that situation and I think that when the and, of course, when there’s 50-50 caregivers and it’s the same yeah, it’s 50-50 for me but I think that there’s people out there that are carrying a lot of their own trauma, own stress, and then they’re putting that out on to their kids and I noticed when I have a bad day and how my daughter. She’s three years old and I see her react differently and I’m like, oh okay, I’m not having a good day and I see it instantly in her. She’s had a great childhood, she’s been really lucky. I had a really good pregnancy so I was a very happy pregnant person. I have got I’ve got a lot of stresses, but I also have a lot of good stuff going on, and when I do have the stressors, I do see it and I do realize to pull that in. So how did that experience change with your children? Did you see that you were able to change that path for them?

Ann Hince: 21:44
Yeah, well, I really wish I had learned EFT when they were younger than they were, because I think things would have been differently. But I didn’t realize, I didn’t know that I was affected by my childhood. I mean so much of it. Just it just gets stuck in our subconscious so we don’t realize how reactive or how highly strong we are, until something happens or, you know, until someone tells us or we realize from that experience I had. So my boys really did have more stress in those first few years than I wish they had. But when I started working on myself, I started to change. So my signal became more peaceful and that changed them too, because I was attracting more peace into my life and they were part of it. So, yes, things changed and the whole household became more peaceful. Now with EFT, you can use it on yourself or other people, so I would sometimes tap on them, but it’s always most useful to work on ourselves first. Right, if I’m frustrated because they’re having a tantrum, I can work on my frustration and that might be all that’s needed. Right, at that point they might calm down themselves, or I can calm myself down, and then, if they’re willing, I can tap on them to calm them down too. So I would do that with my younger son. We’d have nightmares and I would just go and tap on him. I didn’t have to say any words because the emotion was already in the body, so I would just tap on him and then he would say, okay, mom, I can go back to sleep now and it was done. So it’s really powerful to change that trajectory. But with my story so I’ve only really shared the first step, or even part of the first step. I noticed I was becoming more peaceful, but not fast enough, not enough. I wanted it to go faster and I wanted more peace. So I wrote down all my childhood traumas, everything I could think of, the phrases my dad would use, the humiliations, the embarrassments, just everything I could think of. And I tap through one of those every night for about an hour to an hour and a half every night. And that’s when things really started to change. And it got to the point where I opened my kitchen door one day and I said to myself you know, I feel like I’m living in a different reality because my mind, which had been so busy I mean, it was always talking and judging myself and criticizing me and other people it had become quiet. Those voices, those phrases that had replayed in my mind had disappeared. They weren’t there anymore. And that’s when I realized they were my dad’s phrases mostly, that I had programmed into myself and replay over and over again, but I couldn’t see that until they were gone. I had to move beyond it in order to look back and say, okay, yeah, they weren’t me, they were other people that I had programmed into me, and it was really nice once they had gone.

Caroline Balinska: 24:44
Yeah, it’s really interesting I think you gave me goosebumps thinking about that that the difference of how it seems so simple and it seems so. How does it Like if you just think about it on the surface, how could that work? Like just tapping on your head, how does that work? It’s amazing to think the power of that and that’s why, scientifically, it’s been proven that it actually has a lot of power.

Ann Hince: 25:10
Yeah, well, let me explain just a little bit more. So, as we’re bringing something back up, so I mean, if we’re experiencing some emotion now, right, it’s already living in our body. That emotion there is there, say, frustration. So it’s active in our nervous system right now and the tapping interrupts that energy that’s working through the nervous system. It interrupts that feeling of frustration and the points that we’re tapping on are the ends of meridian systems. So we’re kind of moving through the body, releasing the energy stuck in the nervous system as we’re feeling that emotion, and it just releases it. What’s so fun is it’s much more of a permanent release than anything else I have used over the years. So, even though it looks really weird and I thought it was, I mean it’s like I didn’t like the name emotional freedom technique. That’s kind of hooky sounding, until I realized, okay, that’s really what it’s providing. It’s providing emotional freedom.

Caroline Balinska: 26:12
And so for people who use talk therapy, they just go to a standard therapist and they sit there and they just talk through their problems week after week after week. Heard of people doing over the years, 10 years, and they’re still stuck in the same situation. So, talking, we all talk. We all say we’ve all been taught talk through your problems and the problems will disappear. But it sounds like there’s a different level going on there.

Ann Hince: 26:37
There is. I mean, sometimes talking through the problems can actually instill it. It can solidify it in the body. But the tapping you’re still talking through it, still acknowledging what happened. But the tapping releases the energy of it. So it’s like 10 times more powerful to do it while you’re tapping and you can do it with yourself. You don’t need someone else. You can tell yourself what happened in the story and what’s happening. As you keep doing it, the subconscious mind starts to open up. So with a trauma that happened, you will start to remember more details. They’ve been there all along, but the emotions that you were feeling suppressed. The details of the story. So as you keep tapping through it, you will remember more details. So you’ll just tap through that and then you’ll tap, start again at the beginning, tap through it again. You might remember more details, go back to the beginning, tap through it again, more details, until you get to the point where you’re talking through the story and there’s no emotion left. It just sounds like you’re reading from a book. That’s when you know you’ve released the energy. In a way, I talk about it also as forgiveness. It’s like you’re forgiving what happened. If it’s a person, you’re forgiving that person because there’s no more energy around it. It’s no longer affecting us negatively if we’ve forgiven or let go of that event.

Caroline Balinska: 28:00
Yeah, so I’ve done that with a situation, like I said, the EMDR, with the tapping as well, and I went through a situation, but I only went through it, I think, once or twice, and then already the difference that I felt about it was completely different.

Ann Hince: 28:14
And the emotion has to do it again at this point and see if there’s more details or more emotion that was hidden underneath that has come to the surface.

Caroline Balinska: 28:25
That’s really interesting. So, going back, so let’s just give the situation someone’s stressed there, but they don’t know, they don’t realise. They know, yes, some stuff happened, my parents were crappy, I had a crappy childhood, and it’s just that standard, basic, what most people can say that they went through some crappy childhood. So if that person is in that situation, let’s say that they don’t actually have any real feelings about anything. So you think, just sitting down and doing some tapping and then starting to just think about your childhood in general, so just saying this is my childhood, this is what I was like when I was four years old or five, like just going back and starting to put memories together. Is that how you?

Ann Hince: 29:09
start tapping on. I had a crappy childhood. I had a crappy childhood and as you release that, the emotions around that, maybe a memory of one specific thing, one specific event will come to mind and then you’ll tap through that. And then, as you tap through that, maybe another event will pop in your mind and your childhood starts to open up to you again, because I remember saying I don’t remember much of my childhood but that’s because it was all suppressed and so it’s in there. It’s really inside of us. Those emotions are inside of us. We just don’t want to feel them. It’s kind of scary to look back at some of those things, but one of the realizations that really helped was what I said with the tapping about the cats, those emotions and those memories, the just energy that is stuck inside of us. And there is life on the other side. Sometimes it’s too scared to look inside because we think we’ll get annihilated by all those feelings, but it’s just energy stuck inside and we can release it and get beyond it, and that’s where the freedom lies.

Caroline Balinska: 30:12
Yeah, I can vouch for that as well. I did that through my 20s, my early 20s. I was just like not thinking about it, not, yeah, and it does. It bottles up and it just grows and grows and grows and something very negative happens, and that and that happens.

Ann Hince: 30:28
Indeed.

Caroline Balinska: 30:28
And then working through those feelings. And so when I said in the beginning, like thinking of, like thinking that other people have bigger problems than what I have, I guess yeah, I guess I can start tapping through those, even those little things that I’m annoyed at the moment, I think that what you’ve just told me is that I can tap through even those little things and rather than going to that well, other people have got it worse than me, or it’s not that bad and moving on from it, I’m not really like you’re saying, I’m not actually moving on from it, I’m just putting it in the back of my mind. Rather than saying what is this problem I have yeah.

Ann Hince: 31:05
Yeah, and we do that as a society.

Caroline Balinska: 31:07
Drawing on the wall. Yeah, we do that as a society, the time that my daughter draws on the wall and she’s drawn one day she’s drawn every single wall in the house, like I left her downstairs and she’s drawn every single wall and every single door. And I came downstairs and I was like, but then I was sort of like, okay, she’s only two and a half, and she looked at me. She was really proud. She knew she was naughty, but she was really proud of herself. But I just had to. But I need to tap through that. I didn’t actually get angry at her, but I think that I’m still holding on to that grudge at the moment and I’m sure I’m going to bring it up when she’s 40. So I think I should tap through that situation, even like just I mean, even those situations are things that I can deal with, I think, in a better way.

Ann Hince: 31:54
Absolutely. Yeah, they’re stored inside. So, yeah, head to the bathroom or, when she’s not gone to bed at night, tap, tap through. It’s like oh my God, do you know what you did? You drew in every single wall and I was so frustrated. So that’s one way of tapping. So I kind of do it two ways. I do something also that I call air tapping, which is which is tapping on a virtual like. So you put your two year old sitting on your lap in front of you imaginary two year old, virtual two year old and you would tap on her. You tap on her points and you would tell her everything that you were thinking on the inside. But you didn’t say right, because those thoughts still happen inside of your mind. You suppress them. So you would tell her oh my God, I was, so I am so angry at you, right? So you would say everything to her until you’ve got it out of your system, because you wouldn’t want to say it to her directly, right? So you would say it tap on her. And that is very powerful to do that, because it’s you use different words when you’re talking to someone, then you do when you’re talking to yourself. So, yeah, I would do that.

Caroline Balinska: 33:05
And so you do this with if your best friend slept with your husband, for example, you put your best friend in front of you virtually and do that.

Ann Hince: 33:12
Yes, yeah, and you can do it on your younger self, you can do it on your parents right and someone who’s who’s past already. You can tap on them and it’s, it’s. It is amazingly powerful. Hard to explain how powerful it is. But to let go of those thoughts, I mean we say that if we’re really angry with someone, right, we’ll, we’ll say things over and over in our mind. We will, yes, yeah, carry that anger in our mind. But if we can actually express it to them not directly to them, but to a virtual then we’re actually getting out of ourselves, because it’s only ourselves that it’s hurting, because those thoughts and those feelings are inside of us, no one else. So, yes, if we can release that, it, we’re releasing dis ease inside of us, which is obviously going to help us. It helps our signal, it helps the whole planet, because when we’re releasing that, we’re attracting more peace back into ourselves and that changes, like in my nuclear family. It changed the peace in the family Worldwide. It does the same thing.

Caroline Balinska: 34:19
Yeah, I just read yesterday in the newspaper I don’t know, maybe here in the Netherlands, but they had an article saying that the next pandemic will be mental health was what the headline was. Next pandemic to hit will be mental health, and I think that now that I’m in my 40s, I think I’ve really started to understand how mental health does screw up the world in so many ways. Putin is a good example. Yeah, there’s a lot of people out there that have serious mental health problems, that cause a lot of problems, and I think if he did some tapping, things might be a little bit better and there might be a better thing.

Ann Hince: 35:02
The thing is we can’t change him or we can change his or herself, so we can tap on him, we can air tap on him, we can tap on ourselves about how we feel about him, same with Trump in the US or anyone else anywhere around the world. Right, we can work with ourselves. That’s all we can do is work on ourselves. So we’re feeling frustrated with them or angry at them. Let’s work with that frustration or that anger, because that in itself changes everything around us.

Caroline Balinska: 35:33
Yeah, and I think that I was a hairdresser for 20 years and we’re called underpaid psychologists, so that is what you call a hairdresser, because what we go through as hairdressers the things that I have heard and learned and been told I’ve been told some very traumatic stories and I know a lot of deep, deep, deep, deep, dark secrets about a lot of people and it’s very interesting the sort of things that I have been told. And in my 20s I just saw it as I just saw it, as I was happy to hear it in the way of I was happy to be a sounding board for people. I love people, I love speaking to people and I was happy to listen to them, to, yeah, listen to them to try to let them have a chance to let some steam off. Well, I did their hair and it was for me. It sort of went hand in hand and there was no, I enjoyed my job and I enjoyed that. That was part of it. But now, looking back, now that I’m getting, once I got into my 40s, I was always told once you get into your 40s, you’re a different person, and I really do think that now that I’m there, I now understand that, why people say that and now that I’m at this age, I really realise that mental health is something that we do not talk about enough in our 20s for teenagers you know, I’ve got teenage stepchildren we don’t talk about not just mental health in the way of problems, but how to deal with problems, how to deal with our minds in better ways, and that’s not like that is mental health. But I think that we talk about mental health is, oh, that person’s mental or that person’s depressed, but I think that we don’t talk about it. From the first stages of like you, you’re in a situation you went through trauma as a baby and you sound like you didn’t get the help as a child that you could have. People didn’t understand back then and I get that. I don’t think your parents did anything wrong. We didn’t understand those things 40 years ago to do you know 50 years ago to do things like that. And we don’t talk about mental health enough and how we feel as teenagers in school. I know that my stepdaughter she’s 13 and their school, her primary school, was very big on. We talk about you know feelings and we’re really about feelings, but she didn’t learn anything Like yeah, she learned not to hit the kid next to her duh, or if the kid’s crying next to her, ask the kid why she’s crying duh like those are not things that you know. The school said that they’re helping with mental health, but they weren’t really doing anything. I think that that’s where we could do a better job as a society to now pass on to our children. And how can we talk to our children better about those things?

Ann Hince: 38:29
Yeah, and there are some schools that are starting to use EFT because can you imagine, like after recess, coming in and tapping on what happened, right, what your best friend did, or you know, someone threw something at me or said something mean, whatever, so that they could relax their nervous systems once they came back to class, and they would learn so much better. I think. If something like that happened to the beginning of the day, after recess, after lunch, maybe before going home, something like that I think could make a huge difference.

Caroline Balinska: 39:02
Yeah, I’ve got an emotional colour wheel that’s like all the different emotions anger and happy and I had it printed off and I had it in my office on the table and my daughter came in and she was like just three, I think. And she thought, mummy, what’s this? And then I was like, oh. So then I started showing her all the things and I was like, and then it’s, the wheel is like the first, like the major, happy, sad, angry, and then it goes deeper and deeper into the deeper emotions. And so I just yeah, just started in a few of them I’m like how are you feeling now? Are you feeling angry, feeling happy, feeling sad? So we started doing that and I’ve got to get it out again because the people weren’t missing. It’s actually really nice to she’s three yet to start going through that with her of how do you feel right now.

Ann Hince: 39:44
Yeah, and isn’t it interesting how we teach children what those feelings are? So it’s an interesting process to learn feelings, because we’re holding ourselves in a particular stance when we’re feeling a particular emotion. So if we’re feeling frustrated, I can feel that is tension across my solar plexus. So we’re teaching children like when they’re feeling a particular way or when they’re seeing someone else hold themselves in a particular way, we’re giving that a name frustration, right, that is, excuse me, that person is frustrated right now. So they associate that tension that they’re seeing in someone else with the word frustration. In some ways that allows them to dissociate from that tension that they’re seeing in someone else and just use the word instead. So what I feel, like this process I’ve been through, is kind of reversing that process. So as I was doing the EFT more and more so over the months and the years that I was doing it, I realized that my subconscious mind was opening up and along with that, self-awareness deepens. It’s like one and the same thing and that means that I became more aware of my emotions, because when I started I was not aware of my emotions because they were so suppressed. But as time went by I became aware of my emotions and then I became aware of the physical sensations underneath the emotion, like the tension I can feel in my solar plexus when I know I am frustrated. And that was something that I was not aware of, it was not conscious to me when I started this journey. So it’s almost like reversing that teaching process of children learning to give a name to a certain set of physical sensations. So when I did that, at that point I didn’t actually feel like I needed to use EFT anymore. I’d actually been in a class at the time and we were learning a course in miracles. We were going through the book, which is not particularly relevant, but it was kind of a fun class, and the guru, kind of the head of that group we were in. Every week he would say to me it’s not about meditation, all you have to do is feel your feelings. But I didn’t know what my feelings were when I started doing this process. I was actually started EFT while I was in this group and as the months went by he would say this every week all you have to do is feel your feelings. So one day I decided to try and do that because I was aware of them now. So I thought, ok, what does it mean to feel your feelings? It sounds so easy, right, but everything’s been so suppressed for so long I didn’t know how to do that. So one day I was doing the dishes at the kitchen sink I was in my 40s at this point and I thought, ok, how do I feel my feelings? So to begin with I had to catch a thought that had some emotion attached to it. So it might have been something like I’m afraid of making this phone call, something basic like that, and there’s fear involved. So then I would search my body. Ok, where is that fear? And for me fear again is kind of in the solar plexus area, in the stomach area. So, ok, I’d noticed that fear is sitting there in my stomach. So then, how do I feel it? So I realized through practice well, I was doing the dishes. If I took a deep breath, I would lose my focus on the fear. If I moved, I would lose my focus on the fear. So I had to hold myself like a statue, stop in my breath. So I’d noticed where that fear was. I could feel the tension in my stomach and I would stop right there. Don’t take a deep breath, just hold my breath right there, hold myself like a statue, don’t move. And then I would, in my mind, I would talk to this fear. So I would say things like OK, I can feel this fear right there in my stomach. I just want to feel you, I just want to allow you to be there, to be felt. At some point I’d have to take a deep breath, obviously because I’ve been holding my breath, and then I would think the thought again OK, I’m afraid of making this phone call, and the fear would have diminished somewhat. So then I would do the same thing again Think the thought, feel the fear, talk to it as tension, as it’s tension in my stomach, and I’d have to take a deep breath and I’d do it again and I’d notice the fear would have diminished. So I would keep doing it again and again with the same thought until the emotion had dissipated. So it’s kind of the same as doing EFT, it’s just on a deeper level of self-awareness. So then becomes easy to make the phone call, like because there’s no longer any fear there. So I would start doing that every day, instead of doing the EFT in the evenings. I would lay on the sofa and I would bring collective traumas to mind something like 9-11, or, for me, the Loma Prieta earthquake I was in in San Francisco. I would just bring all those memories to mind, feel all those suppressed emotions, just allow it to dissipate from my body. And it did, and it felt really good because it was all tension that was releasing from the body. So I kind of count that as my second step. It’s like a deeper level of self-awareness, and there are some people, empaths more, who already have that level of self-awareness and might be able to start and keep going at that point. But for me I had to do EFT first because I did not have that self-awareness to feel that tension inside, and so for me I had to do EFT and then I moved on to what I call feeling your feelings and that released tension at a deeper level. So that’s kind of the second step out of the three steps on my journey.

Caroline Balinska: 45:24
And tell us about the third step, because I think that that’s actually very interesting. I think that’s something I’m going to give. I’m listening very attentively, so I think I’m going to give that a go. I am okay. Yeah, I think that I might learn a lot about myself. Yeah.

Ann Hince: 45:41
A lot that’s hidden. Because there’s so much hidden in our subconscious, I mean, I have no idea. So let me tell you the third step, because that will kind of bring us back to what I just said. So at some point, while I was laying on the sofa feeling and releasing this tension inside, I realized I could keep my awareness inside my body after the tension had released. I know that’s kind of a weird thing to say. It was a weird thing to experience. I’ve never heard of it before. So imagine, if you have a stomach ache or a toothache, you can focus, you can feel where that pain is coming from, you can put your awareness on it and feel it. But once the pain has left, you can’t put your awareness there anymore Because there’s nothing calling your attention to it anymore. I realized I could. I could put my awareness inside my body and so I started to play with it because I didn’t know what I was doing. So I was like, why not try again? And I realized I could do it again. And I started to move my awareness around inside and I realized I could find the place with tension compared to a place with no tension. So I would focus on the tension I could feel inside and it would release. I’d focus again, it would release a little bit more. So exactly the same as I was doing with the feeling, your feelings. But now I’m inside the body doing it, and so I would just do that. I kept moving around my torso, feeling tension, releasing it. Feeling releasing just felt really good, so I just kept doing it. After many months of that work I was able to put my awareness inside my head. It was huge because the pain and the tension inside my left cheek was almost unbearable. I could only focus on it for a second at a time because it was so painful. And that’s when I realized that pain had been there my whole life, from when I was born. With my right foot up against my right shin, my whole body was twisted, it was kind of torqued, and that pain whether it originated in my left cheek I don’t know, but it was part of that twist and I had lived with it for 50 years at that point and had not been aware of it. So that’s when I realized, that’s where I really understood the law of attraction and how important what is hidden is to that signal we emit. There’s so much in our subconscious mind that we’re just not aware of. But when I got to that point I had the technique, so I just kept working with it. I kept feeling the tension releasing, feeling releasing. At some point I actually heard and felt something released and it sounded and it felt like all fabric ripping and it was a little scary. I had no idea what I was doing and I was out at the time and I had to go home and I started researching it. It’s okay. I realized it was an adhesion in the connective tissue that had released because I’d let go of so much tension. It just relaxed and released. So I realized I wasn’t hurting myself and I kept going and over time it got to the place. I could actually feel my skull bones relax. Now I hadn’t known they were not relaxed before until they relaxed and I could look back, just like I said, with the thoughts in my head. I hadn’t realized they weren’t where my dad had to get beyond in order to look back and say, okay, yeah, they clearly had been tense, but I hadn’t known it had been subconscious and then it was conscious and then I was able to release it. So I have those x-rays now, just from an orthodontist that can show how my skull bones have changed and my eye sockets have aligned my jaws it’s not fully centered, but it’s way better than it was and my neck is straighter than it’s ever been and I’ve grown three quarters of an inch in my fifties because I’ve been releasing that burden that is holding us down, just releasing the past. It actually allows us to straighten up again. So I didn’t know any of this was possibly before, and that’s why I’m sharing all this information now.

Caroline Balinska: 49:40
That actually makes so much sense. That’s actually one of my people asked me how to look younger longer. You know, how do we keep looking good without having to go through plastic surgery? And one of my things that I tell people is posture is so important. You see, the difference between yourself Like I see it in myself, the difference between walking around like that and walking around straight. I really noticed a difference with my how older I look. I look much older from hunched over, because we naturally look older when we’re hunched. But what you mentioned there is actually a really good point, because I see all these women that are hunched over walking around that I think. I remember one day I saw a lady and I had my daughter at 40. And I saw a lady and she would have been around my age with a baby and a pram and I looked at her and I went, oh, she looks like she’s probably in her sixties, but you could see she wasn’t. But from a distance away she was walking hunched over and it actually makes a lot of sense that we walk around with so much weight on our shoulders when there’s stresses and problems going on and forcing yourself. So me telling people to force themselves to stand up straight. It’s not the answer. Like saying to people just stand up straight, you’re going to look younger, like okay. But if you’ve got so much weight on your shoulders it’s like holding up 100 kilos of bricks to try to hold those shoulders up. So it’s about releasing.

Ann Hince: 51:04
It is, and then you naturally get pulled up. It just happens, naturally I feel this force kind of pulling me up that I didn’t feel before. So it’s almost like one of those noodles, those floating noodles in the water to hold yourself out of the water. It’s like, you know, we’re pushing it down, that that weight we’re carrying is like pushing that underwater, but as we let go it just comes naturally back to the surface. So, yes, it’s that, it’s so much tension, it’s that tension in the connective tissue. Right, I realize that we’re holding all the tension in the connective tissue because I can sense inside now, I can sense light and darkness where the tension is. It’s in our connected tissue and as we think those negative thoughts over and over again that we don’t realize, we’re thinking maybe or we’re reliving those past traumas over and over again, that tension in the connective tissue just gets more and more ingrained and it just pulls us down over time. I think that’s why we get tight and tense and we shrink as we get older. So this is releasing that tension so we can just become buoyant and come back to our natural state.

Caroline Balinska: 52:13
That’s really interesting because my partner will constantly say to me if I’ve had a few bad days, I’ve struggled a lot with my menopause, my perimenopause symptoms, and I’ve had a lot of problems and I had a lot of stomach issues that that was a bacteria. But when I had, when I have bad days, and now even with my menopause issues, when I have a couple of bad days and I’m walking around like really out of it, and when I get back into like my normal self, my partner will always say man, just he goes, the way you carry yourself, the difference of the days when you’re having a bad day and the days when you’re having like your normal good days. He goes it’s just that the way you carry yourself is completely different. And it’s not about like I don’t wear makeup at home, so it’s not that I’m putting on makeup. He just says I just carry myself in a completely different way. I’m not trying. I’m always trying to think about my posture, but I’m not walking around purposely going, oh, today I’m going to walk around straight and these other days I’m going to walk around like that. So I think that people around us see much more than what we see and they might even see it subconsciously, and it’s just you that it gets to the point where they don’t even mention it. So your friends might not be saying it, the people around you, like my partner, doesn’t turn around and he even says he says that when I’m having bad days he doesn’t think about it like that, like okay, she’s having bad days, but he sees the bounce back and goes, wow, now I really see difference.

Ann Hince: 53:45
Yes. So the key is, as you’re going through those bad days, it’s not to force yourself, you said, it’s not to force yourself to be upright again, but it’s to accept the way you’re feeling and allow yourself to come back up naturally.

Caroline Balinska: 54:02
I’m actually going to put myself on a 30 day trial of just tapping and seeing how I go with it, because I think you’ve taught me a lot of things today, that I think there’s a lot of things I can tap about, and one point that you made was that you said you just decided that every single day you just decided you had a list and then you just went through that list and tapped for each of those things. Yes, and I think that that’s something I’m going to do. I think I need to sit down Because, like I said, I’ve done it and I’ve really seen a difference. I just have not stuck to it, but I think you have taught me today that sticking to it will take me up to a level and I think that there’s.

Ann Hince: 54:39
Some people meditate every day. So, instead of meditating, I think this is much more powerful than meditating. So, instead of meditating, use that time to go through some one memory, one trauma from your childhood and just see it. That’s exactly, yeah.

Caroline Balinska: 54:53
So I think you said that you’re not into meditating and I’m also the same, that I’ve tried meditating, and then I was doing this instead of meditation. My only meditation is when I’m doing my workout. I do stretching and meditation at the same time. I can’t sit there and try to meditate. I find it a waste of time, even though, like it feels good at the end, it doesn’t give me that same sort of feeling, whereas I find that when I’ve done the EMT, emdr and the tapping, it has made a difference. So I think that that’s interesting. But tell us a little bit more. You’ve mentioned that meditation to you is not as great as this. Do you want to give us a little bit of an insight of that?

Ann Hince: 55:30
Yeah, well, if we go back to us being a signal, meditation is beneficial, right? Because in the moments where you’re meditating, you’re more emitting a peaceful signal, the mind is a little calmer, so you are then attracting back more peace. But the EFT is actually changing our base signal. It’s changing our physical signal, so it has a much deeper change than something like meditation. So exactly those are the words I use. I thought meditation was a waste of time. I wanted something that was going to work faster and make bigger changes, and that’s, in my mind, what EFT does. Now I do have a few videos on my YouTube channel about EFT, so I have a demo of how I tap through the points and the wording I use, and I’ve got a couple of other videos about the words to use and such on there. So if you want a little bit more detail, you can check my YouTube channel.

Caroline Balinska: 56:26
Yeah, I’ll put those notes out for the links in the show notes. Tell us a little bit about how you can help people. What’s after? I think you’re probably the perfect example of someone that can give advice and help in more detail on this. So if someone wants to reach out to you, what can you offer and how can you help them?

Ann Hince: 56:47
Well, I try and give away most of my information. So anyone who wants to really learn deeply I mean check out my YouTube channel. The videos are on there. I have a book and a workbook, if you want more detail on that. The book’s called the Pathway to Insight and then there’s Pathway into Insight Workbook and that will ask all the questions to bring up all those traumas from your childhood so you can work through those each day. Anyone wants to contact me, they can contact me through my website. The X-rays are on there, by the way, and they’re on YouTube so you can check out really how powerful this is, because I really want people to know that we can do a lot more with our mind and with our attention and our awareness than I have, and you were talking. So those are some things. I’m also pretty active on Facebook and I would say I write some pretty deep things on there. I don’t know what other people would say, but I like what I write on there, so feel free to read those too. Fantastic.

Caroline Balinska: 57:46
I’ll put all your field links in the show notes. Where you just mentioned about what we can do with our mind, I realized and I heard it again recently that there’s been so many studies recently on, which I find a really interesting aspect because I think a lot of people out there are saying, oh, I’m not good enough and I’ll never be good enough and these people are better than me and I’ll never be as good as those people and never have success. But there’s been a lot of studies and just recently another one came out was that they got professional golfers and they got non-professional golfers and they got them to sit down for, I think, a week period and they got them to only think about playing golf and their golf swing and playing and doing better and better, and they all came out having more success at the end, like being better at their sport than they were beforehand. So they tested them beforehand, tested them afterwards and none of them actually picked up a golf club. They all did it via just thinking about it and it made me realize we talk about some of these basketball players and how amazing they are at their sport and these professional, whatever sport, these really high, high, high achievers and people say, oh yes, but they’re just very good at their sport. That basketball player is because he’s tall and because he learned from a young age and because of this and that and that. But what people do and Kobe O’Brien is a really good example. I want to do more research into him, but I’ve read a lot about his stuff and I’ve seen a lot of interviews that guy, what he did and what he was not able to do when he was 14, like he was terrible at basketball at 14, and what he became all through his mind and these other athletes and not just athletes so these people our mind is so much more powerful than anything else. I don’t believe, like, okay, you might not be the president, you might not become the basketball player that Kobe O’Brien was, but you could become a very, very good basketball player from nothing, just from working with your mind, that you can be a million times better than you are today. You might not become the best, but you can become a million times better and I think that if we look at that for everything across our lives, we could become better at looking after our children. We could become better at our jobs. We could be better at being happy. I think all of that comes down to our mind and the power of our minds. I think that that is more important than anything you’ll learn at school.

Ann Hince: 1:00:15
Yeah, I agree. And the way I would get there is to accept how we feel or how we don’t feel good enough. So if I I mean I tapped on that phrase I’m not good enough a lot in my early years of this journey and I tapped on the phrase I hate myself a lot in those early years of this journey. And then once you do that long enough, then it just becomes words. They’re just words, right, I hate myself. Three words. There’s no longer any emotional attachment to it. So then I feel we attract what we’re supposed to attract. Life just happens in a more positive way because the positives are where they are underneath the negative. So that’s a way of not suppressing how we’re really feeling right. So you can force yourself to be a good basketball player, but maybe underneath there’s still some feelings of I’m not good enough. But if we allow that I’m not good enough to just release, then when we become a really good basketball player we actually believe it and we stand in that place in a different way than we would if underneath we’re really feeling not good enough. Yeah, can you see that there’s kind of two different ways?

Caroline Balinska: 1:01:24
So that’s interesting.

Ann Hince: 1:01:25
So give me sorry what was that last bit? So can you see that there’s two different ways of standing in that place, of being a good basketball player. One way you feel that’s where you’re supposed to be and you can stand in it in your full power, and one where you’re a really good basketball player but underneath you still got those thoughts and those beliefs that you’re not good enough, and that’s going to be very different experience. It’s like being rich right, being wealthy and being afraid of losing that money. That is not going to be a peaceful place to be, whereas if you can feel rich and feel like you’re deserving of it and that’s where you’re supposed to be, it’s going to be a much more fun experience. Yeah.

Caroline Balinska: 1:02:08
That’s. You’re making my mind just braced with all the different aspects. I think we can talk about this for hours of the power of our minds and how much it makes a difference, and hearing you say that you didn’t think you’re good enough I think that that is something that I hear from a lot of women. I think that I’ve been fortunate. I don’t have that feeling very often. I don’t have maybe I should, but I don’t have that feeling of I’m not good enough very often. I think I have it over particular things, but I do know friends of mine that feel it for a huge chunk of their lives that they wake up every day and they might be a very successful lawyer, or they seem like they’ve got it all, and then you find out that deep down, they actually don’t feel that they’re good enough, and I think that that makes me really sad to hear that people are like that, and I think that there’s a lot of people will be listening now at that experience. So can you just touch on that for a second for you, so you did that at the beginning, so you didn’t think what, like you weren’t a good enough mother, or because it was at the start of your journey.

Ann Hince: 1:03:18
No, it was deeper than that. I just wasn’t good enough. I mean I was given away right, my birth mother gave me away. Well, clearly I wasn’t good enough If my own mother wouldn’t keep me. So there were a lot of very deep feelings of I’m not good enough. I mean I was sent away to boarding school at the age of nine, so clearly wasn’t good enough for my adopted parents to keep me. So it was just that feeling of not being good enough and it was pretty deeply ingrained in me. So that’s, I would just tap on that phrase I’m not good enough, Just tap on it over and over again until it no longer has any power over me. And, you know, maybe some memories of different times when I hadn’t felt good enough would come to mind. My dad used to tease me a lot about my voice and excuse me different things. So I would tap on those memories that would come to mind and eventually that phrase just doesn’t mean anything anymore Interesting.

Caroline Balinska: 1:04:14
We’ve got your information in the show notes, so I want everyone to go and check it out because I think it’s really interesting. I always end. I know that we could go on for hours and hours and hours about the mind, and I’d love to get you back at another stage later on to go into some other areas as well, and I’m next time we talk, I’m going to tell you how I went, with my little experimenter style, and I want to always finish up with three things, three tips that you can give the listeners that they can take action on immediately. I think that it could be anything, but I think that you have got a lot in this area that really helped it. So what are three tips that you would recommend for women listening to take action on immediately in their lives?

Ann Hince: 1:04:55
Okay, so this is really reviewing some of the things we talked about already, but the first step is always to start noticing. We often get caught up in our emotions during the day, but if you can stand back and say, okay, look at me starting to get frustrated, I’m starting to get angry, just notice, because until you notice, you can’t do anything about it and you can be manipulated by emotions if you don’t notice that. So that’s the first thing just start noticing during the day, and it may be only once a day to begin with, and it was for me, you know, one time I could notice, okay, getting emotional and as I did it more and more, it became easier and easier. So that’s the first thing. The second thing is find a technique that you can use to work with that emotion and to let it go. Obviously, I recommend EFT. If you have that deeper awareness, you can try feeling your feelings, because you can do feeling your feelings anywhere. Eft is a little weird to tap on yourself while you’re out in a train or something, but you can feel your feelings anywhere and then, if you really want to go fast, which is what I did can disrupt your life a little bit Once you start opening Pandora’s Box. I found some people. Things could start happening. But if you want to go fast, then write down all your emotions from the past, all your traumatic memories, and maybe just start going through them one at a time. But that’s only for people really with the will and the desire to make fast changes. So the first two steps probably.

Caroline Balinska: 1:06:29
First, Fantastic and you have been absolutely amazing and you have got me thinking about a lot of things and made me realize that I can take action, and I think that it’s never ending. I think that we can always be working on ourselves, no matter what. I think that I don’t know. You can answer that After all these years, do you feel like you still can work on yourself?

Ann Hince: 1:06:56
Absolutely. It’s just deeper and deeper. I’m releasing tension in my bones, in my palate, in my tooth roots. Now it’s just a deeper level of self-awareness. Now at some point it would be really nice to get to a place where all the tension is gone. But in the meantime we’re just showing the next layer. Each time we release one layer we’re showing the next one, just over and over to a deeper level of self-awareness. And it’s fun. I mean, life becomes richer and deeper, because the more awareness you have inside of yourself, the more awareness you have outside of yourself. So I could feel into colors now. White is almost repulsive to me, which I find really interesting. Blue, which is what I wear all the time now.

Caroline Balinska: 1:07:39
Sorry, I’m learning white today, blue, which I do.

Ann Hince: 1:07:43
And when I say repulsive, I mean as in an energetic way, right Like I feel like I sometimes I just don’t notice white. Anyway, that’s just part of it. But because I can sense tension inside of me, I can sense it on other people and I can understand what’s happening in the world at a different level than I was able to understand before. So life just becomes richer as you go through this journey. So it’s a fun journey.

Caroline Balinska: 1:08:11
And do your children use that in your people around you? Do they use the?

Ann Hince: 1:08:16
techniques? Not really. No, they have some resistance to it, which is okay. I mean, I have friends that use it too, and that’s part of the journey is becoming peaceful with whatever happens. Right, all we can do is control ourselves and how we feel about something. So if I’m at peace, with my husband doing this or not doing it, that’s where I want to be. I want to be at peace regardless, and then I can allow him to be who he is and me to be who I am.

Caroline Balinska: 1:08:45
Yeah, no, I find it interesting because I’ve been thinking about oh, should I get my partner to try to get onto it? But I think men are probably a little bit less likely to do it. I don’t want to sound sexist, so I’m not here to be sexist, but I had a feeling from all the. I’ve got two brothers. There’s a lot of men in my life and, yeah, I just get the sense of which ones of them would try this and I don’t get the sense that many of them would.

Ann Hince: 1:09:12
Right. But if we feel some emotion about them not doing it, that’s our emotion, Right. So that’s how we take control. But that’s how we take responsibility for everything. If my husband does not want to do something and I am frustrated with him for not wanting to do it, that’s my frustration and I can work with my frustration so I can come to peace regardless of what he does. And then I’ve done my work and that’s why I watch the news now. For a long time I didn’t watch the news because I had too much going on inside of me. But once I’d released that I’m looking for more things, I’m looking for what triggers me so I can heal at a deeper level. So I will watch the news and notice what’s triggering me and work with that to release.

Caroline Balinska: 1:09:58
Wow, that’s interesting. Okay, we’re going to get back on a call in a few months. I’m going to tell you how I’ve been going. I’m very excited to get started because I know I’m going to go through your videos and your workbook as well myself and actually get into it, because I find that Now, look, I was getting on this call thinking we’re going to have a conversation on a very superficial level. I knew that you had a lot of a story from your past. I didn’t realize just how much great information you’re going to give about what I have learned on how I can do so much better to repair myself, because I think we’ve all got what to do and I definitely do so. Thank you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I know there’s going to make a big difference to my life. So I hope that a lot of other people learn from this file and your information is in the show notes so people can get started this file, like I will be.

Ann Hince: 1:10:49
Thank you. Thank you for a great conversation and, yes, I don’t do superficial very well.

Caroline Balinska: 1:10:54
I go deep. No, it’s fantastic. I’m very glad you don’t. Thanks, anne, and thank you everyone for watching and until next week have a great day, bye, thank you, you’re fantastic. I love you. Bye, bye.