Episode 2: Amanda Laden

0:00 Challenges in the US Medical System

7:04 Women’s Health Concerns and Alternative Medicine

14:48 Balancing Eastern and Western Medicine

27:17 Empowering Solo Travel and Authentic Living

ABOUT AMANDA:

Amanda Laden is the Founder and CEO of Period to Pause, the leading platform for elevating people’s voices in their own health, healthcare treatment, and well-being. Amanda started Period to Pause to equip people to advocate for their needs, change a system that was not set up to support womxn and gender non-conforming folks, and to help people to rise, vocalize, and mobilize to change the healthcare system. She is also a Growth Strategist and the CEO of The Firebrand Institute, and works with organizations to create strategies to support diverse populations and create cultures of inclusion and belonging. In her spare time she hosts events over food and wine to create community, connection, and change. She currently resides in San Diego with her Bulldog/poodle rescue, Bernie. Fun facts – Amanda has traveled to over 50 countries and loves eating and drinking her way around the world.
www.periodtopause.com
www.vinokarma.com
www.firebrandinstitute.com 
Instagram @periodtopause 
Instagram @vinokarma_project

Have you ever felt unheard or dismissed in the doctor’s office? Ever felt like the clock is ticking down your 7-minute consultation while your concerns are brushed aside? Amanda, a fearless advocate for better women’s healthcare, joins me today as we dive deep into the harsh realities of our medical system. Through personal stories and candid conversations, we lay bare the challenges women face in navigating a system that often seems designed against them.

We begin by examining the current state of the US medical system and the unique struggles women endure. Amanda shares her painful journey of living with an undiagnosed disease for 20 years and the dismissive treatment she received that spurred her mission to catalyze change. From here, we switch gears to discuss the power of self-advocacy in healthcare. Shedding light on the crucial areas where women often feel let down, we offer practical tips on selecting the right medical team, asking the right questions, and empowering yourself to take control of your own health. 

As we traverse the precarious balance between Eastern and Western medicine, we expose the educational gaps around female anatomy and the potential dangers of legislation that stifles these critical health discussions. Amanda’s vision for a future where younger generations embrace their bodies and engage in open health dialogues serves as an inspiring call to action. We conclude our discussion by sharing our empowering experiences with solo travel, and offering three actionable steps every woman can take to prioritize her health. This episode is a rallying cry for all women who have felt disempowered by the medical system – we hope you’ll join us on this transformative journey.


TRANSCRIPT

Amanda Laden: 0:00

And the surgeon laughed and she said it was in their best interest, not to you were a money making machine for them, and so it was. At that point I got really angry. I was like, wait a second. So you’re telling me that this almost killed me, the disease almost killed me, and I’m an educated white woman in America. What is everybody else experiencing? And I was like this system has to be changed. We need to find a better way to help women, to advocate for themselves, to support women, and the medical system here is just it’s messed up, for lack of better terminology.Caroline Balinska: 0:35

Welcome to the Life On Purpose Over 40 podcast, where empowerment, elegance and health take center stage. I’ll be your guide on this thrilling journey to outshine your past self. This is a podcast all about transformation. We’re plunging head first into exactly what health, wellness, style, relationships and career in the plant as a woman over 40. You’ll be hearing from all the most sought after global trailblazers and experts. This isn’t just about learning. It’s about embracing your inner fierce, fabulous self. Let’s get started. Hello Amanda, it’s so good to have you here. I’m so excited to have you.Amanda Laden: 1:13

I’m really excited to be here as well. Thank you for asking me to be here today Fantastic.Caroline Balinska: 1:19

Look, I came across to you and you’re in the US, I’m in Europe and we do have a slightly different. We’ve got different medical systems, but I’ve had so many issues with medical stuff going on with myself and I came across to you and I thought, oh my God, what you are doing is making such a huge difference to women and I wish there was someone like you in Europe. I wish you could do that, and I think that at some stage you’ll bring it across the world. But I just came across to you and I thought you are so amazing and you’re taking on something that I think is a huge project. So congratulations and thank you from all the women, because I know that what you do is something really special. And what I really loved was I’m gonna plot the quote because I loved it so much how I actually found you was I found your video that said I want to burn the effing system down.Amanda Laden: 2:11

You loved that.Caroline Balinska: 2:12

It was just, it was amazing. So tell me about that. What makes you say that? What is your story? How did you get here? What makes you need to help Other women, not just yourself, because I think a lot of people go out there and say, I’m gonna fix everything for myself, I’ll help myself, but you’re helping other women. So what’s your story? How did you get to the situation of burning the effing system down?Amanda Laden: 2:37

Well, I recognize through my own medical journey that the system and structures that we have, particularly here in the United States, weren’t set up to support us to begin with, and, unfortunately, how I came to that realization is that I had gone through my own medical journey of being undiagnosed with a disease for probably about 20 years. So I have something called adenomyosis. It’s a cousin of endometriosis. And, long story short, my ex and I were trying to get pregnant. We were told everything was fine, all the numbers looked good, and what they weren’t looking at was my entire body. They were looking at me piecemeal, and so we went through rounds of IVF. I had a few miscarriages and fast forward to one doctor who said oh, I think you have this disease called adenomyosis. A few things had happened that made her kind of go wait a second, something’s going on. Your uterus was too big for how far along you were. You’ve had these miscarriages. You complain about these debilitating periods. I think this is what you have. And so ultimately I ended up having to have a hysterectomy because there’s nothing they could do at this point. My adenoma was diffused and it was starting to grow into other organs, and when I went for my two week post-op after the hysterectomy, my ex asked the surgeon why didn’t they ever diagnose Amanda? And the surgeon laughed and she said it was in their best interest not to. You were a money making machine for them, and so it was. At that point I got really angry. I was like wait a second. So you’re telling me that this almost killed me, the disease almost killed me, and I’m an educated white woman in America. What is everybody else experiencing? And I was like this system has to be changed. We need to find a better way to help women, to advocate for themselves, to support women, and the medical system here is just it’s messed up, for lack of better terminology. Oh my.Caroline Balinska: 4:46

God, that’s terrible. I’m really sorry to hear that. That’s terrible that you’ve been through so many terrible things. And how is it that the system is so bad for women? Why is it that they have not, in all of these years, made it easier for us? This is not something new. What you’ve gone through is you’re not the first one that’s gone through it, and there’s lots of other things. Why does it take so long for things to change?Amanda Laden: 5:14

Well, I think you know you start to look at how people are educated here, particularly in America, in the medical system, who actually who’s graduating from medical school, what they’re teaching them in medical school. You start to look at who’s getting paid. You know you have to follow the money. In America the insurance companies are getting paid, it’s even the doctors. You know they’re now being given seven minutes to see a patient. And how do you even work and operate in a system that is forcing you to interact with human beings but not take their humanity into account? You know there’s not a human centric approach. And so you know, I think we have to come out it from multiple sides. There have to be voices out there like mine, like other women’s voices, who are saying this doesn’t work for us. And you know, if you look historically in America, how the system and structure was set up in the medical system, it was made, you know, by white men for white men, not for women, that’s for sure. So there’s a lot of different historical reasons and you know we’re not doing enough to say you know this has to stop. I mean you would think we’d be doing more in America right now, particularly with death rates and childbirth for women of color, and there are people out there that are doing some great and amazing work to highlight what is going on and to bring community back, to help support women in multitude of ways. But it’s just, you know, we have to kind of go okay, we can’t eat the whole elephant, so what parts of it can we actually tackle?Caroline Balinska: 6:41

I’ve had probably worse things than this happened, so it’s fine, fantastic. Okay, I’ll get into the next question. Amanda, we’re getting a few problems now with our audio and visual, but we’re making it work. So I think that if we put our heads together, we can make anything happen, so let’s try to make the audio and the visuals work properly. I will get into the next question, because there’s still so many things I want to know from you. I wanted to know, based on what you’re just saying, that what are three areas that women most feel let down with when it comes to their health. Is that very particular?Amanda Laden: 7:21

I think number one is being listened to and being heard. So, especially here in our medical system, women are dismissed all the time, and so that feels, you know. When that happens, it feels like well, wait a second, you know, maybe this medical practitioner knows better than I do, and so not having their voices be heard. I think the other thing is, you know, having a medical team or a team of folks that aren’t right, aren’t right for you, aren’t right for your health care plan. And I think the third thing is really not knowing how to advocate for oneself. So you know, what is it you can say, what is it you can’t say? And so those are probably three areas where we focus in terms of, you know, really helping people to take back their own power and to know that they do have some choices. It’s harder here in America with our, the way our systems are set up and going outside of, you know, the insurance based system. It’s very, very expensive, but you do have some choices. You can always find a new doctor or a new practitioner that’s going to help you, that’s going to listen to you, and then also get some tools to be able to advocate for yourself and use your own voice.Caroline Balinska: 8:29

So what do you actually do? So period to pause. How would you help someone in that situation? Do you actually step in and talk on their behalf, or do you just talk them through it? What do you do?Amanda Laden: 8:41

Yeah, I mean mainly we talk them through it or we say, you know, find somebody in your network and your support system, whether it’s a spouse, whether it’s a friend, a colleague, somebody who can take on asking the hard questions to some of your doctors and the medical team. Also, we tell women in particular to really think about what questions you want answered from your doctors and even though they’re like we don’t have time you know demand for the time it’s really important that you are heard, that you understand what they’re saying. You know there’s a lot of jargon in the medical system and it’s, you know, unless you’ve gone to medical school for years, it’s really hard to know what certain terminology means. So right now we’re not stepping in as patient advocates on their behalf. We’re more equipping them to understand. Oh, here’s some questions you may want to ask. Here’s how you could put. You know, choose somebody in your sphere to come in and come to your medical appointments with you. We’re also pointing people to resources. So you know there’s some other things. You know we’re not trying to be a one stop shop for everybody. It’s more about the education and pointing towards resources than anything else at this stage. So there’s some other things we have in the works but that aren’t yet out in the public domain. But right now it’s really helping to equip you know, with conversation guides and to understand what you can ask for for your own health care.Caroline Balinska: 10:06

Well, I can tell you it’s not just the thing in the US. So here in the Netherlands I’ve had a lot, of, a lot of bad situations with my health care and I’m very fasty and I say things as I see them and even myself I’ve been in conditions where I’m like hang on a second. And I can imagine for someone who is not as fast and I think you might be a little bit like me on the farthest side that we can stand up for ourselves. I can only imagine the people who are not in that situation, how hard it must be for them. Because I had a doctor say to me over I’ve got SIBO, so I’ve got a bit. It’s extreme, like very, very extreme. And I finally found something that I thought might have actually helped after 20 years of illness and she said to me what did you read that in your little magazine Did you? In exactly that voice.Amanda Laden: 11:00

And.Caroline Balinska: 11:00

I was like oh my God, how, like, how can you talk to something? And I said you know, I’ve read it in all these like this studies and I know that what I’m saying sounds crazy and I know that it might not work, but can you do a test? I’ll pay for that test just to see if what I’m like, what I found out, is true, after 20 years of not being able to get any answers. And she just looked at me and went what did you read that in your little magazine, did you? And it was crushing and I actually started screaming at her and I said to her oh, my comment was, my comeback was thank God, not all doctors are like you, because then we wouldn’t have found the cures for cancers that we have to this day. So I’m very glad there’s not. Not all doctors are like you. And she said don’t ever come back here again. And I said don’t worry, as if I ever would. And I was laughing, I’m like, as if I would ever come back and see you after how you just spoke to me and I stormed out and the whole of the waiting room was just sitting there and I was like oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry and I dealt with that. And I found like I went back in to see a different doctor and I dealt with it. I actually found out that what I was talking about was true and the doctor the next doctor was happy to help me and if I wasn’t as strong and determined as I was, I would have not been now nearly completely cured. But that one doctor I’ll never forget her and her look on her face of did you read that in your little magazine? And I was like blown away with how do you speak to your patients like this?Amanda Laden: 12:29

It’s unbelievable. I mean, it’s so important to. I’m sure you’ve heard lots of yeah. It’s so important to equip these doctors with having some empathy and leveraging emotional intelligence when it comes to patient care. You know, of course, not all doctors are like that and you know a lot of doctors I know really did come into the field because they want to help support people, they want to help cure people, they want to treat people in a humane way. However, you know, I’ve experienced it plenty of women I know have experienced that as well, and it’s just, it’s unacceptable. And so now, especially with social media, you know we can put people on blast and you know that’s not great for their practices because we can highlight here’s my treatment and here’s why this is not acceptable and this is not okay. And, by the way, we have oftentimes as women we have community, we have networks we’re saying don’t ever go to this doctor, this doctor is terrible, they’re going to demean you, they’re going to dismiss you, and it’s unacceptable.Caroline Balinska: 13:30

No, and I think that’s a good thing about the power of social media, now, I think it, you know, helps us have a voice in those ways as well, so it’s fantastic. The next question I think you touched on it before and I wanted to get a little bit more of an explanation from you. You mentioned something about bioidentical hormones and you said that that’s actually an option for women. What is your understanding, or more, your belief, about when it comes to whether it’s science-based or alternative health options? Do you have sort of an opinion on one being better than the other? Have you lost faith in the science-based medicine? Do you find that alternative health is actually a better option or alternative? I don’t know. In the US Do you have, because here in the Netherlands, alternative medicine is not seen under insurance because we’re based on an insurance system too. Yeah, same in Australia. It’s a public system, but alternative therapies are not usually on the system. So, when it comes to alternative health, is that something that you see is important or something that we should leave behind?Amanda Laden: 14:44

Yeah, I absolutely think it’s important. I myself sought out a bunch of alternative health health and therapists and practitioners when I was going through the things I was going through. One of the things that really helped me to manage my pain during my chronic disease was acupuncture, and I was living in Boston before. Now I’m in San Diego. In each of those cities I have found acupuncture practitioners who are acupuncturists who are really focused on the female body and on whether it’s IVF, adenomyosis, endometriosis, and I found those specialists and they have been a godsend. They were also really, really helpful in helping me to ask the right questions of my doctors, and so I believe there’s a time and a place and a space for each of these areas, for Eastern medicine and Western medicine. And no, I absolutely haven’t lost faith in science. I think science is key, super key, to moving the world forward. I mean, we wouldn’t have certain things we have today, we wouldn’t have the opportunity for people to have babies, in vitro fertilization, we wouldn’t have cures for certain things if we didn’t have science. So I’m absolutely a believer in both. I think part of it is being able to maybe balance both of them when you need them. I’m not a firm believer in just throwing drugs at something in terms of oh, you have, fill in the blank, we’re just going to throw drugs at it. Well, what are my other options, other alternative things I could do? Is there a change in my diet? You know, we just don’t look at the body this holistically, and so I think being able to go OK, wait, these things all function together and what’s causing some of these things? And how do we not look at it piecemeal? And what are my options for being able to navigate whatever I have, both with Eastern medicine and Western medicine?Caroline Balinska: 16:44

No, I feel about it the same way and, even with my bad situations, I still think that science is very important to helping, but doesn’t always give us the solutions that we need. What’s your goal, amanda? You’re constantly coming up with new solutions. You’re trying to help people. What’s your goal? What are you trying to achieve?Amanda Laden: 17:09

Ultimately, I want women to take back their power. I want them to be able to leverage their voices to create change and to advocate for themselves, and I want there to be more investment in mainly female-led health tech femtech organizations that are solving real-world problems because they’re not getting solved within the system. I also want to equip medical practitioners to be able to navigate patient care in a more human-centric way. So I guess those are my ultimate goals for this and ultimately, just to create some awareness, especially here in America right now, where certain voices are being silenced and certain issues are. Book banning is happening around sex ed. Things are coming out of the classroom which are really key to help particularly young women to navigate their bodies and to understand how their body functions. That’s scary, it’s super scary, and so it’s like we need to have a platform and to be able to leverage voices in a way that allows people to have access to the education they need and the resources they need to be able to get the support and the health care they need.Caroline Balinska: 18:20

Yeah, it’s scary times to think that when we were growing up, we were around the same age and we didn’t have that great information. Our moms didn’t teach us. I don’t know about your mom, but I don’t know any of my friends’ moms that taught their daughters about. You know, sometimes we got the basic information of, oh, you’re going to get your period and here’s what you’re going to do about it, but we didn’t get taught. You know, when I was trying to get pregnant, I was nearly 40 when I was trying to get pregnant and I was blown away with some of the things that I was learning. I’m like I didn’t even know this and my partner’s, like you don’t know about, like your uterus or you don’t know. I’m like, no, like, maybe it was an Australian thing. But then I started asking people in Netherlands. It’s just something that we never, it’s just part of our body and we deal with our periods and that’s pretty much all I know people to experience. And now, going into metaphors, it’s the same sort of thing. It’s scary to think that they’re trying to ban children, teenagers, learning anything at all. Like it’s a very scary thing.Amanda Laden: 19:23

Well, and you know certain legislation in America, right now, in Florida, you can’t even say period now in the classroom at a certain age. So now we have oh, we’re not going to talk about the basics of how the female anatomy works and what’s going on on a monthly basis, and then we think that that’s going to stop girls, young girls, from getting pregnant. What, like? I mean it’s insanity. So you know, I’m the same as you. You know I wasn’t really equipped to understand how my body functions. It was just like oh, there’s this taboo subject, we’re not going to talk about it, we’re not going to touch it, oh, it’s gross, it’s dirty, it’s gross Whatever. And I’m hopeful because I see some of the younger generations are embracing things about their bodies. They’re embracing, you know, the spectrum of sexuality. They’re embracing all of the things that they’re going through and they’re having conversations about it. Young women are having conversations about these things and that gives me some hope for making sure that these things don’t get silenced. That we are not here in America going into the handmade’s tale, you know like which it does feel like on a daily basis. But you know, these younger generations that are having the conversations really gives me hope.Caroline Balinska: 20:35

But the Netherlands is not much better when it comes to. I’ve got a stepdaughter who’s 20, 19. And I’ve asked her a few questions because I’m like maybe it’s an Australian thing, maybe it’s different, but they haven’t been taught much more at her age, like she finished school two years ago. They have not been taught much more than what we would have been taught. Yeah, I don’t think it’s getting better. I think Thank God for TikTok, thank God for Instagram, but I think that, yeah, schools it’s not just America. I hear bad things about what’s going on with the sex ed in the US, but it’s not that great anywhere else. So, yes, hopefully we get changed. And talking about women over 40, what are some pieces of advice that you have for them that they’re going through major transitions at the moment, whether it be still trying to get pregnant, whether it’s metapause. What is it that you can advise them?Amanda Laden: 21:32

on. I would say. Number one drop the societal norms Meaning there’s so much pressure that are put on all these shoulds. Women should do this At a certain age. You should have this, you should want to be a mother. That’s the only reason why you have this vessel is that you should carry a baby. Drop all of that. I curse a lot. I won’t curse on your podcast, but F-society I can think of that too, don’t worry F-society. So I think one drop all of those societal expectations. Number two get quiet and ask yourself what you truly want for this next chapter of your life. When I turned 40, I felt like just coming into my own and it’s a beautiful time, even if we’re going through all these transitions. The third thing is find community. Find like-minded community who you can share with around what you might be experiencing right now. There to support I’m almost divorced. I’m going through a divorce. Being able to have some girlfriends around me that are like, oh, I get you, I’ve got your back. This is beautiful too, like congratulations. Having that community of support is really, really key, yeah that’s a really good one.Caroline Balinska: 22:56

I think that’s really true. I think, based on that, it’s having the flexibility of having different communities, not expecting to rely on one type of community, because, like you said, divorce community is going to be different from. Like, I’m a stepmother and I talk to people that are not stepmoms and then they look at me sometimes like, oh, it’s wouldn’t be a big deal. I’m like you have no idea what it’s like. And then I talk to other stepmoms and they’re like, oh yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about. So talking to people in that same, in going through the same thing, I think is really important and does make a big difference Absolutely and not relying on your partner or your husband I think that’s one thing that we always like hear about is that women go. Oh yeah, my partner is going to my husband’s, going to be the person my best friend and be everyone to me. So that’s definitely an order. I think you agree with that and we can say that quite clearly.Amanda Laden: 23:55

Oh, yeah, I absolutely agree with that. I don’t know where we got that narrative that the person that you marry should be everything to you, like they should be your confidant, they should be your best friend. It’s like, oh, there’s certain things that I don’t want to talk to my spouse about. You know, I want to talk to my entrepreneurial community or my community of girlfriends, but I don’t know where that narrative has come from, that the person you marry has to be everything to you. That’s a lot of pressure for someone too, right? Like that’s big.Caroline Balinska: 24:25

Yeah, look, I did weddings for 15 years and I took care of over 200 weddings and I got the girls the complete opposite of your situation. And there were a lot of those women women, they were women. Yeah, they’re in there. They were in their early 20s some were older, but a lot of them were in their early 20s that I just looked at them and I thought you’re going to be divorced in five years. Like with your mentality, you’re going to be divorced Like. I remember one. I’m going to stop him from doing everything that once we’re married he does. I remember this one girl he does Thursday night cards or poke up with his friends and as soon as we get married, he’s not doing his Thursday night poker anymore. And I looked at her. I was like, why she’s like, why he can’t do it, we’re married. And then we started like we were talking and I found that she shops every Saturday morning with her friends and he will never stop her from going shopping with her friends on a Saturday morning because she’s allowed to go shopping with her friends. I’m like, hmm, this is actually like, do you not understand the irony of what you’re saying? So, yeah, I think that that narrative of your man’s going to be. Everything in your world is interesting. It comes to believe.Amanda Laden: 25:40

It’s fascinating and it’s also like you know, I think the societal narrative that women aren’t whole until they find a man and a partner is something that we you know, at least, was ingrained in me growing up, that the thing that you should strive for is to get married and be a mother. Like that’s your only purpose here is to do that, and I see people’s identities get really tied to their spouse and it’s frightening to me, or even you know, when people become a mother, great congratulations, but what we no longer can be friends because I’m not talking about changing your child’s nappies like that’s your only identity. It’s very, it’s very frightening to me, and I think part of that is we have to start, and the younger generations are doing this, but you know, we have to start breaking down these norms and these stories and these societal expectations that we’ve been taught. And I think that’s where you know when we see women coming into this next phase of their lives over 40, sometimes if they’re children, if they’ve had children, they’re empty nesters or whatever the case might be, they’re lost because all they’ve done is tie their identity to their children and now it’s like, oh, what am I going to do? So it’s you know, I think it’s really important for women to be asking themselves the questions around. You know, what does a partnership look like for me? If you should, you enter one? And also, how do I start to love myself in a way that I don’t actually need anybody to complete me, so to speak? Like that rhetoric around, oh, he completes me, and it’s like, oh, that’s dangerous, that’s really dangerous.Caroline Balinska: 27:12

Yeah, but you’re not a complete person without him. Yeah, yeah, it’s a look. I travel on my own still sometimes and people say to me what? You travel without your partner? And I’m like yeah, I can still travel without my partner. It’s, it’s actually okay.Amanda Laden: 27:28

So that’s another conversation?Caroline Balinska: 27:32

I think Exactly. I just. I’ve traveled to 50 countries. I’m catching up with you.Amanda Laden: 27:40

Yeah, I was just in Europe for five weeks on my own and I met friends, like I have some friends who live in Portugal, some friends who live in England, and but I spent the majority of the time traveling on my own and people were gobsmacked. They’re like what, how are you going around Europe for five weeks by yourself? And I’m like, well, how am I not Like, isn’t it empowering to be able to do what you want to do when you want to do it? It felt so good to be on this little sojourn. I had so many experiences that I wouldn’t have had had I been traveling with somebody else. And so, yeah, I love it. I love it. I feel like it gives perspectives. Yeah, I’ve got to do a count again. I don’t know how many countries it’s over 50 now and I don’t know the exact count but after this last trip, I probably need to to recount and see, see where I’m at.Caroline Balinska: 28:25

Yeah, we’ll, we’ll chat about that, because I also thought the same. I’m like I’m nearly at 40. But I can’t remember exactly I have to laugh on that what you just said, because my partner I was I’d been living in Spain and I left Spain and I just started traveling and I was about to move to Canada. And I came through Amsterdam to visit some friends and was walking down one of the canals and I said I am going to stay in Amsterdam, I’m going to buy a boat and live on a boat, and my partner and I now own a boat and we live on a boat in Amsterdam. So I actually got what I wanted, but we, when I first moved here, I actually came here and decided to stay, but then I went off back to Poland to see my family and I arranged a place to live here. And while I was arranging a place, I thought I’ll get on one of those dating apps and try to meet some guys when I get back to Amsterdam, then I’ll have some dates set up. And so I had a couple of guys lined up for dates and my partner ended up being one of them, and it was a long time until we actually met for the first time. So I think I’ve been living here for about a month already when the first time we met and so I’d already moved here. But whenever I tell the story, when people go, how did you end up here? I always say yeah, I came here and then we met. And he’s like no, no, no, tell everyone that you came here for me. For him it’s like the romantic, like she came here for me and I’m like hell, no, I did not come here for you. I moved here because I moved to Spain for a guy. So I’m like that was the story. But I’m not making up the story because that doesn’t make it sound more romantic To me. I’m like no, no, no, my story is that I’ve moved here and I happened to meet you and you happen to be good enough to stay with. I don’t need to like have some romantic story that I moved here for you. So it’s always like this funny thing in front of friends. He’s always like tell them all that you came here for me. And I’m like, no, I’m not going to tell anyone that. And then we had this like argument and people are like now, what’s the truth? I love that Traveling on your own is the warm night in the UK Because you said you moved to the UK, so you were living in the UK as well. You know what it’s like traveling to a different country and living in a different country.Amanda Laden: 30:36

I sure do. I, yeah, I lived in the UK for a decade and I studied in Paris when I was 19 too. So I’ve lived in those two countries and I really, really want to leave America and move to Europe again, so probably somewhere like Portugal, and I just, you know, I feel alive when I’m in Europe. I also don’t conform to a lot of societal norms American societal norms and it just doesn’t feel like this is the place for me anymore. So we’ll see, stay tuned.Caroline Balinska: 31:09

I know that feeling. I left Australia and I signed off on the paper on the way out of the country. I went, I’m not coming back and everyone says are you going to come back and nip us? So I know that feeling of when you don’t feel like where you are is the right place and it can always change. So you can always go back to the US. And I’ve got a couple more quick round questions for you. I wanted to know what are three things that every woman should take action on straight away. Do you have a couple of must do’s Travel?Amanda Laden: 31:40

Yeah, for sure, I think. Number one ask yourself what you want in this next chapter of your life, because your story is unwritten and it’s up to you to create it. Number two travel, for sure. Travel alone, get some experiences alone, do something transformational. And then I think the third thing is, you know, think about how there’s somebody else, maybe another female or woman, in your life that you can support and you know, ask them how you can be helpful or offer how to be helpful, especially if somebody in your circle is going through something. And you know, I think we all know women that are going through something right now, and so you know, being a support system to them, because we really need it.Caroline Balinska: 32:22

That’s really good, I like those. And what is one word that you would use to describe your future One?Amanda Laden: 32:30

You’re a lad word Transformational.Caroline Balinska: 32:35

Fantastic. And what is one of the core values or belief that has shaped your actions and your decisions in your life?Amanda Laden: 32:44

I think for me, it’s around authenticity and being authentically who I am and trying to do that in every moment and not letting somebody else’s narrative come into how I’m making. Decisions who somebody else thinks I am, you know, force me to navigate my life. So I think it’s really about being true to myself and being authentic.Caroline Balinska: 33:09

That is such a good one and I can say I just I know this is a quick round, but I think that that is something that a lot of women out there need to actually feel safe to do. I think that a lot of women don’t feel safe. I’m the same, and there’s been times I’ve been caught up in not being authentic. That’s important to me, but I do know a lot of women out there that are just not authentic. So I think we should all feel safe to be able to be that and not worry about other people not liking us. I think that you’re authentic.Amanda Laden: 33:40

you’ll find that, I think, also not place judgment on other women in that way. You know, how you choose to live your life. You know, in Amsterdam may not be how I would choose to live my life, but allowing space for that and saying, oh, isn’t that cool? Like, isn’t that such a cool lifestyle, like, isn’t that a great way to live, rather than going, oh, I’m going to authorize her and take her down because, oh, can you believe that this is how she lives her life? Like, like you know, I want people to go. Oh, my gosh, what can I learn from that? And how do I become a better human being? By honoring that, by witnessing it, by holding space for Caroline to live her life Like you know, like, that’s what I hope other women do for one another. And you know, stopping this goes into a little. I know this is a quick round. This goes into a little something else, which is when we continue to authorize each other. You know it tears us apart, it forces us to be divisive, and when women come together in a collective way, there’s so much power in it, and so if we can do that for one another, I think it’s beautiful and that’s how we start to create change. That’s how we start to see each other do something different. That gives us an idea of possibility.Caroline Balinska: 34:53

Yeah, I love that. It’s, yeah, I think, moving. You know what it’s like. You’ve left your country and me leaving my country. I had a lot of people question why on earth would you do that? Well, don’t do it, I’m doing it, so I’m happy. Yeah, and what’s a fun fact about you that everyone should know? I think you’ll find anyway. So just one fun fact.Amanda Laden: 35:15

I went to wine school.Caroline Balinska: 35:18

Oh, very nice yeah, was that in Paris.Amanda Laden: 35:22

It was in London. So, yeah, I went to the WS Wine School Education Trust in London and I worked in the industry for several years, so it used to be my party trick to be able to pick out a wine blind. I can’t do it anymore, but I enjoy wine and food. They’re my passions.Caroline Balinska: 35:39

Oh, we definitely have to meet up next time you’re in Europe. And what is one of your passions or interests outside of work, besides foreign?Amanda Laden: 35:50

Well, I mean I think we’ve talked about it I have a dog, so I’m very passionate about my dog and about animal rights. I also love to travel We’ve talked about that, so. And then reading you know I’m an avid reader. I read a few books a week. I really, really love consuming knowledge. So those are some of my passions. And cooking cooking as well.Caroline Balinska: 36:11

Oh, wow. And what’s a book that changed your life.Amanda Laden: 36:15

Gosh so many, Probably the Alchemist by Paula Coyla.Caroline Balinska: 36:20

Me too.Amanda Laden: 36:23

That’s mine.Caroline Balinska: 36:24

So, yeah, I just listened to it again the other week. I really love that book. I think that it’s really very thoughtful, makes you really think.Amanda Laden: 36:35

You just inspired me to read it again.Caroline Balinska: 36:38

Oh, you can listen. So I just got it quickly on because I’ve got the book here but I couldn’t be bothered picking up so I got it on YouTube for free. There’s a video you can watch. I’ve watched it on double speed because I’ve yeah, because I’ve already had it. I’ve got the actual book and it’s nice to read on the summer, you know, on a holiday, but just if you want to listen to it YouTube, good tip. And it was like on double speed. I think it was an hour and just over an hour or something like that.Amanda Laden: 37:07

Amazing. All right, I’m going to do that.Caroline Balinska: 37:09

And I want to ask you something else. I did notice that you organize events around. You said in your spare time. I saw you say something about events in your spare time. First of all, what I want to know is what spare time do you have? That’s what I want to know.Amanda Laden: 37:28

Not a ton. Right now, I’m being very intentional about where I put my time and energy, and I really want you know my brands right now that I have period pause being one of them to really make a larger dense in the world and to bring my voice more to the fore. So what I do, though, is that I host. I host events over food and wine to create community connection and change, and a lot of that’s around social justice or social impact causes, and so I’ll bring in speakers or interview people, and then we’ll support sometimes, immigrant chefs or underrepresented, you know, people of color, and then wine makers underrepresented wine makers around the world, so those are a lot of fun for me to do. During the pandemic, I was doing them online, and now, living in San Diego, I’m starting to do them in person again as well.Caroline Balinska: 38:25

Fantastic. Wow, I need to get you back on another day and I think next time we get you back on here, I really want to talk to you about how you actually organize your life and get so much into your life, because I think that is something that a lot of women would love to know some tips from you. So if you’d like to come back another day, I’d love to have you.Amanda Laden: 38:43

I would love to come back. I appreciate it and I’m so sorry for our I don’t know, our glitches, our technology glitches today, you know. Hopefully the message is fine. It’s been such a pleasure, though, so thank you for Thank you. Thank you.Caroline Balinska: 39:00

Thank you, amanda. I am so very grateful. I know that getting you on here and getting your way from everything else has been so, so great for me, because this podcast is new and I’m so glad to be able to help women out there, because I think there’s a lot of women out there that need this advice. So thank you. How can people find you? Period2poisecom is your main website, and then you’ve got your FirebrandInstitutecom, which is all about the corporate information as well, and they can find you on Instagram. What’s your Instagram?Amanda Laden: 39:35

Period2Pause. So it’s all at Period2Pause and stay tuned. We’re going to be doing some other fun things with. You can also follow me on Vino Karma if you want, but those are the main places to find me and I respond to emails if you want to reach out to me. So, yeah, those are where you can follow us and find me Fantastic.Caroline Balinska: 39:56

And I’ll put all of your information in the show notes as well. So, amanda, thank you so much. Thank you everyone for listening and until next time, have a great day and keep smiling, as I always say Bye.